Fly Hippie life on the fly

Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Eaten That…

C’mon colleagues, admit it, you know you’ve told yourself this numorous times.  So why is it that we continue to punish ourselves by dumping loads of questionable local cuisine into gastrointestinal systems?  Aside from the fact that most local cuisine is infinitely more interesting than any big name steakhouse or mainstream franchise, the reason we do it is because of status.

Yes fellow colleagues, we are status whores.  Whether it be airline status, hotel status, or rental car status, the sad truth is that we like to “one up” our fellow business travelers, oftentimes at the expense of our own stomach.  So here is my breakdown of being a road food whore.

Basic Level: Congratulations!  You’ve just signed up for the program and this is the entry-level membership.  You’ve either just been hired for your first consulting gig, or are very early in your career.  Either way, your youthful inhibitions allow you to 1. eat pretty much anything you can get your hands on, and 2. out drink all of your co-workers.  What’s in your bag?  Probably a travel-size container of Advil…live it up colleague…live it up!

Gold Level: Congratulations!  You’ve just made Gold Level membership.  You’ve been at it for 1 – 2 years, pounding the pavement and shaking a lot of hands.  You still feel totally invincible, you probably don’t just tell yourself you’re going to the hotel gym, you actually go to the hotel gym!  Local cuisine is still not a stranger and most likely you only have your travel Advil and a roll of Tums in your bag.

Diamond Level: Congratulations!  You’ve just made Diamond Level membership.  You’ve been out there for 3 -5 years…Bubba, that is a lot of damn miles and points!  You’ve learned to be cautious of local cuisine, for the sole reason that at one point in time you’ve been in a small conference room with clients when suddenly strange sounds and smells appear to be coming from your direction.  You’ve graduated to carry plenty of Advil, Tums, Gas-X, and Pepto in your bag.

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Super-Duper Platinum Level:  To my colleagues who have made it to, and maintained this level for years….DAMN!  You’ve been on the road so long that all you need is a Scotch or an Irish…neat, make it a double and keep ’em coming!  You’re so good that you don’t go through TSA with anything because you have a stash of meds scattered about various lockers at multiple airports, you’ve even figured out a way to smooth talk the cute airline lounge manager to truck in industrial size Imodium that can be served as shots or over the rocks…you are all my heros!

If you’re not a status whore now, trust me, you will be, so travel on colleagues, travel on!

 

 

 

 

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